


as if you were a mythical thing

by mysteriesofloves



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: (very) Light Dom/Sub, F/M, Pegging, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, blair waldorf voice: that’s my man!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:29:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28331643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysteriesofloves/pseuds/mysteriesofloves
Summary: He looks so handsome, clean cut and done up for her. She wants to ravage him.
Relationships: Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf
Comments: 13
Kudos: 52





	as if you were a mythical thing

**Author's Note:**

> happy holidays have some filth <3 title from miss swift ofc

They just barely make it out of the elevator. 

Dan kisses like a climax, less of a buildup and more of an event in itself. His thumb strokes over her windpipe, tense fingers curled on the side of her neck, applying just enough pressure to make her gasp, forcing her forward, trying to scoop air from his lungs out with her tongue. Blair has always liked that, suffocating with love. 

(What she loves about Dan is that he lets up when she needs him to. That he breathes the air back into her lungs the moment he sucks it out.)

“I love you,” he mumbles, and she knows he must be more tipsy than she is, because it’s the only thing he’s said since they left.

“I know,” she says, petting over his cheek. He looks so handsome, clean cut and done up for her. She wants to ravage him.

Her heels give her the height to easily mark him up, lipstick kisses over the freckles next to his eye, his mouth, like the glitter still stuck to their hands and cheeks from the Christmas crackers, tipsily pulled between them and erupting with confetti, holographic dusts of light catching in their hair. Her fingers catch on the knot of his bow tie, tugging on it until it unravels before her. He’d made a show of calling it stupid three times before finally putting it on, and now, with it creating a barrier between her teeth and his throat, she realizes where he might be coming from. 

He grips her thigh through the fabric of her dress, urging it up to give himself leverage to press into her, grind up against her. He’s already half-hard from her hand in the car, palming him slow through his pants in plain view of the driver. She feels his knees bend slightly, preparing to hoist her up, and she curls a tight hand around his wrist. 

“Mm-mm. Down, boy.”

Dan huffs, a small incredulous sound, like he would roll his eyes if he could pull his mouth away from her neck. She pushes him off her, and revels in the way he stops with only a hand on his chest, doing what he’s told before she even tells him. She loves him more than she thought she ever could. More than she thought she would ever allow herself to. 

He fumbles with the keys as she pushes his coat off his shoulders, letting it fall to the hallway floor unceremoniously, disappearing amongst the shadows. She curls a finger on his collar, folding it down enough to bite harshly at his neck, delighting in the way his expression pinches in a wince, the little gasp he lets out. She is, after all, still a mean girl at heart. 

She soothes the bite with a kiss, tracing the teeth marks with her tongue. Dan hums, hand stalling as he nudges the door open. “I love you.”

“Good to know your stance hasn’t changed since we took three steps.”

With enough distance between them, Dan does roll his eyes this time, and she slides her hand down his back to his ass, that huffy little laugh cutting off, caught in his throat. 

The only light in the living room is from the Christmas tree. He pushes a hand into her hair as he walks her backwards toward the bedroom, tugging at the handful of pins until the sound of them dropping to the floor echoes through the dark loft. She doesn’t waste any time, grabbing him by the lapels and turning them around, slamming him against the closed bedroom door. 

“I haven’t thanked you,” she says, voice low with intent, smoothing down his lapels. “You were so good for me tonight. Getting all dressed up.”

She kisses over the contours of his cheekbones, the ridge of his nose, the divot of his cupid’s bow. She works to get the buttons of his shirt undone, alcohol clouding her senses and the dots of light from the windowsill turning her vision luminescent blue, glittering gold. 

“So good, Dan. You’re always so good to me. Giving me anything I want, right?”

She brushes her lips on his, a barely there kiss, pulling away before he can deepen it. Her tongue pokes at the corner of his mouth. “Right?” she says again.

He nods slowly, his breathing coming out shallow, and she can feel the current running under his skin, blood rising to the surface and turning him the prettiest shade of pink, her favourite colour. 

Finally, giving in: “I love you, too.” She flicks her tongue at his open mouth. “So much.”

He sighs, like he didn’t already know. Maybe it’s a left over jitter, having taken her so long. But she says it every day now, as easy as saying grace. And sometimes it’s not enough for her, just to say it. Sometimes, she needs to show him, too. So he’ll know. So he’ll never worry that she doesn’t.

“Anything you want,” she whispers. “You’ve been so good tonight.”

Dan is just on the right side of too-bashful, and she loves the blush that blooms over his cheeks, loves that for a man who hasn’t met a word he didn’t like, he can never really ask for it. Usually she likes making him beg, makes him tell her out loud what he wants, because he always has such a hard time with it, embarrassment making the words thick in his mouth, stretched out through gritted teeth. But she’s already gotten her part of the night; those eyes on her, ever-adoring, when they weren’t rolling into the back of his head after every conversation. It’s not lost on her that the witticisms he makes under his breath are the kinds of things he more than likely has said about her. It doesn’t bother her. She’s said worse to him. Sometimes she still does, but only when he asks for it. 

She drops kisses down his chest, circling the pad of her thumb over his nipple steadily, his brows drawing together, lips twitching, never wanting to give away how much he likes it; but Blair doesn’t want to play games tonight, leaning down to scrape her teeth over him, biting his nipple sharply, the noise he lets out strangled, like she has her hands around his throat.

She bends, grappling around the barely-illuminated floor for her clutch, pressing a quick kiss to his tense stomach on her way back up. She clicks it open, fishing out a little bottle.

At first she thinks it’s just a ring of lust making his eyes go wide, but then he bursts out laughing. She would be incredibly vexed at him for killing the mood if she didn’t really, really love his laugh. “You – you’re unbelievable. Do you just carry that around, keep it next to your lip gloss?”

“Just tonight,” she chides. “I like to be prepared for anything.”

“What else do you have in there?” he says, waggling his brows. She continues to make a show of her lack of amusement. “Seems a little too small for a –“ unable to stop himself from laughing, his head rolls back against the door, hands finding her hips. “I’m sorry. Sorry. I love you.”

“You better,” she says, dropping her clutch back to the ground and twisting a hand in his open shirt, pulling him forward and turning him around. 

“Jesus, Blair,” he mumbles, cheek pressed against the door, trying to sound irritated, but just sounding turned on. “Gonna break my fucking nose.”

She grips his hair tight, earning her a groan as she tips his head back so she can kiss his cheek. “Complaining?”

He licks his lips, says lowly, “No.”

His pants catch around his knees, and she digs her fingers under his waistband, dragging her nails over the sharp jut of his hips. He breathes through his nose, jaw tense, and she cranes to kiss the spot where the muscles wind the tightest. 

“You okay?” she whispers, with a kiss behind his ear, peeling his underwear down slow. He nods, a quick jerk, and she feels the pulse of his throat as he swallows under her lips. With her fingers slicked, she brings one in, working him open until she can slip in another, his forehead falling against the door with a light noise, mouth dropping open on a moan. It’s nights like these that are appealing in a way that feels particular to her, to them; trading barbs the way others trade pleasantries up until they’re alone and she has him like this: the heat of skin on skin, a part of her inside a part of him, completely at her mercy. 

Dan would always look at her like he was waiting for something she couldn’t quite figure out. Maybe it was this all along; for her to take a stronghold of him. 

She reaches around him with her other hand, swiping her thumb over the head of his cock, leaking all over himself. 

“So wet for me, huh?”

An unintelligible little noise slips out on a huff, Dan caught between rocking down on her fingers and arching up into her hand. She withdraws the hand around his cock, brings her fingers out carefully, and he practically whimpers, the sound rippling up through her.

She takes his hand, urging him to turn around, giving him a soothing kiss before nodding behind her. 

He stumbles out of the rest of his haphazardly discarded clothing, something desperate and juvenile about it as the backs of his knees hit the edge of the bed, falling onto it with little grace.

She takes the zip of her gown down slow, revealing pale skin and the moonlight-silver lace covering it inch by inch, stepping out of the heap of delicate fabric and making her way to the last drawer of the dresser. 

She likes the silicone, the heft of it, the bit of bite from the strap. She fits it on, settling on the bed between his legs, innocent as ever, leaving him with nowhere left to go. Those long, dark lashes flutter as he blinks up at her, washed over in huffy impatience, petal pink lips parted in quiet awe, so open and vulnerable. 

She ducks her head to tongue over his leaking slit, light and languid, no relief for him, more just for her own enjoyment, his frustrated groan a sweet hum that goes straight to her clit.

She leaves a lingering kiss over his nipple, red and raw from her bite, before she straightens again. He draws a single finger under the waistband of her panties, pulling it back as far as it can go with the harness covering it, and snapping it back on her skin, like the prick of a thorn, the lightest sting, blooming red. 

“It does wonders for my ego when you get dressed up for me.”

“Don’t get cocky,” she says, no bite to it, petting over his chest. His hand traces up her spine until it meets the clasp of her bra. 

“No,” she says, curling her hand around his forearm and tugging it away, pinning it over his head. “I want it on.”

Dan nods, arching his neck up to kiss her, and for a moment she forgets the trajectory they were on, swept up in the heat of his tongue swiping over her bottom lip, like a sun-warmed wave on the sand, despite the brittle December cold outside their walls. 

“How do you want me?” he whispers, knuckles brushing over her ribs. 

She smiles, and if the look in his eyes is anything to go by, she knows the innocence is long gone. “How do you want to be?”

Bashful and blushing, like he can’t really meet her eye, he says, “Like this.”

The pop of his knees cracking as he pulls them up is loud as a cork, breaking the tension in the otherwise silent room. 

“Old man,” she snorts, the kind of uninhibited noise only he can get out of her without any embarrassment. 

He rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “Shut up.”

He’s awfully pretty like this, laid out for her, every part of him bright pink, like a newly acquired bruise. She’s wrecked him, and he loves her for it. 

It makes her feel like a live wire, his whimpers that are too thick to swallow sparking through her from her tongue to her clit to her toes and back again. It’s all sloppy kisses and uneven thrusts, too tipsy for anything more deliberate, but it’s good anyway, so good, his grip tight in the bedsheets, tighter on any part of her skin he can get his hands on, turning her that same bruised pink, returning the favour. The friction of his mouth bumping hers, of the hair on his legs scratching along her waist, of the harness against her clit; all of it’s enough to send her over the edge. She hardly has time to collect herself before he’s following her lead, her fist wrapped on his cock, trying to pump in time to her thrusts.

She cleans them both off with a wet washcloth, lipstick smudges and leftover glitter and all, dropping a kiss to each little freckle on his face that she loves. She strips out of her lingerie, discards it with the rest of their expensive laundry, burrowing under the blankets and into his chest. His hand snakes between her legs, finding her already sensitive clit and wringing a gasp from her, kissing her open-mouthed and lazy as he works her over with the kind of careful, reverent attention only he’s given her, even in his state of wreckage. 

The thrum of his heartbeat, like caught prey, is harsh enough that it feels like it’s existing outside his ribcage, like it’s right there, bleeding against her cheek. She yawns, her small hands on his chest as she stretches out, extending herself to peck him on the lips. 

“If you think anyone’s getting you a better gift than that you’re sorely mistaken.”

“Just sore,” he mumbles against her forehead. “My dad’s pretty nifty when it comes to gift giving, you know. He could outdo you.”

“That giant intellect of yours seems to disappear post-orgasm.”

He nods listlessly, eyes fluttering closed. She presses her lips to his pulse, still stuttering fast against his skin, her little way of checking that this is real. Sometimes, he feels too good to be true, better than a fairytale, like an imaginary friend turned to bone and bleeding heart; an amalgamation of the kind of love she’s always dreamed of. 

“Dan?” she whispers, his breathing slowing, pulse evening out. “I love you.”

His nose nudges against her cheek. “I know.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on tumblr at mysteriesofloves <3 other than that i’ll see you all on here in the new year! xx


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